What Keeps Me Up at Night

It's 1:56 am, and I can't seem to sleep. Do you know what keeps me up at night?

There's a ridiculous amount of nonsense that swirls through my head at any given time. I worry a lot. I think about the promotion I never got, and the lack of support I sometimes feel at work for a small non-profit. I think of my chopped up resume that I need to work on and send out so I can get to work for a place that may support me better. I worry about the house cleaning that needs to happen, the prep that will go into sharing my home with a roommate just to afford life here, the dog, meal prep, relationships, etc.

Did you note that grad school wasn't on the list? Yay! I finished my schooling in December and am now "Master Ritchey...haha".

But what is it specifically tonight? Ummm, I am embarrassed to say that it is a grand idea for a revenue-generating interactive for our Aquarium that most likely will not get approved... But once my brain gets started, I cannot let an idea go. So, I am stuck laying awake until I pull out that sketchbook my brother gave me for Christmas, (the one with the little dots instead of lines), and make a little informal proposal for the CORE team meeting next week.

As much as I don't feel supported by my little non-profit... I know it is a good little place. I always build it up as "the gem of Hickory" and love it for the educational facility it is. I suppose I am loyal to a fault, and will give my 100% till the day I am called to move on to another place.

Sooo... What's keeping y'all up tonight?

VIDEO!!!

A way to share the journey!

All the video edits were to music that had to be changed due to copyright.  Not the best video I ever made, but it gets the point across....and it's legal!  :-)

Guyana- What it meant to Connect

I find myself taking longer each time to process an adventure.  Each field study seems to have a different theme.

When I was in Belize, it was after 11 months of travel to even more countries, and I found myself so darn tired.  I was met by such grace in my cohort and leaders.  Belize for me was a time to learn my limits, and to not be so hard on myself.

When I was in Mongolia, I lost all track of time.  The sun set at 11pm and there was no electricity in the Steppe.  I got to play volleyball till the light faded, to sing songs in the candlelit mornings, and to climb the nearest hill for the heck of it.  Mongolia was a time for me to learn to be present...to not rush and do but to be.

So what was Guyana?  

It was a time that I felt so connected that leaving actually hurt.  How could I feel that way?  I didn't know the place or the people...and I even showed up late!  But I somehow ended up with friends-like-family in an instant.  I would lay in a hammock with a new friend (the-head-on-belly-no-personal-space kinda moment) and say, "sometimes I forget that I don't even know you!".  More than once I would just be in awe of how close and connected I felt with the people, the land, the culture, the food... everything.  I felt like I had been there for months.  Never once did I feel uncomfortable or out of my comfort zone.  And everyday, I drew closer to the people, to the nature, to the land.

When I was in Guyana, I learned to be connected.  To allow myself to invest wholeheartedly, knowing the risks.  And to deem it worth it.  And it was. 

Guyana Day 3

After the airport fiasco that left me in Toronto for a time (humbled and grateful though)... I finally arrived here in Guyana.  I was collected at the airport by the staff from the Ecolodge at Iwokrama who were responsible for bringing the rations out to the lodge 8 hours drive down bumpy rainforest roads. I was grateful for that time to connect with the culture, accent, and just plain good attitude of the Guyanese people. I spent most of that journey laughing and eating gas station snacks...haha.

We bounded across a bridge right before it closed for construction which marked our exit from the cities. From there we continued down muddy roads (some the texture of soft serve ice cream which trapped trucks larger than our jeep). At the halfway point we stopped at the only restaurant on the road... It was called Station #58 and was renowned. See, that first road into the rainforest was actually the only road going all the way from Brazil to Venezuela...so this place was THE place.

I had curried chicken and roti which was a little different from the style that I have had in Malaysia...but I decided to try something familiar instead of the jungle rodent and tapir that were also on the menu. I wasn't feeling quite that adventurous yet.

Hours later I arrived at the Ecolodge Field Station though my cohort was out on monitoring projects already. It gave me a chance to rest, sip coffee, look out over the river and forest, and breathe again. Sometimes we get so stuck in our heads that we keep forgetting to take the moment... But thank God, I was given a moment to take...and savor.

It's been a couple days since then. We have done some monitoring, bird lists, hiking, discussions, lectures, and such...but it just feels so different from any other EE field study I have done. I really am rather enjoying it!

Today is our last day at the field station which has the wifi. We head further into the interior after lunch and will find ourselves in villages of the Makushi people. I hope to give a more inclusive update later, however. But until then, enjoy photos of this amazing place!

Barbeque and a Rocking Chair

Soooo..... I have been absent for a couple months, mainly because I still haven't managed the balance required to work, school, and life here in Hickory...

Well, I shouldn't say "here" in Hickory because at the moment, I am actually in Charlotte International Airport. That's right, I am off to foreign lands with my graduate program for the final time. Guyana is the designation and I am 90% sure that I am going to miss my layover flight due to delays. The good news however is that this afforded me the chance to eat dinner. I got a to-do BBQ plate (pork, okra, mac...the works) and sat in a little white rocking chair. And I breathed.

This is perhaps the first time in a long time that o really breathed. It's the first time that there wasn't some looking deadline, or emergency, or million things to do. Oh yes, I can find plenty to do... But it was nice to just sit for a moment. I don't even know if I know how to function like that.

Life had been more than busy, and between a sick dog, late school assignments, un-expected schedule changes at work, and the usual upkeep in life... I didn't, I couldn't, I wouldn't even try to find rest.

But this week coming up will be either extremely liberating or extremely trying! I will be in the middle of the rainforest where the norms of life just have to take a break. I don't know if I am ready, but I don't know if I have a choice. So, I will rock here in this chair just a little longer...haha

A New Life in Hickory!

To be honest, I never had time to be excited about the job and the move and the new life. I had a plan to travel after I said all my Georgia goodbyes. I wanted to visit friends and family while I waited for a job to pan out. I know I said to my "Georgia mama" a few times, "I don't know God's plan, but I have a feeling that I won't get any job leads until I am in North Carolina visiting my friend."

I didn't know just how right I was. My first stop of my planned agenda took me to a friend's campground. On Friday, I got a phone call requesting an interview. On Monday, I interviewed. On Wednesday, I was offered a job. On Friday, I completed my paperwork and hunted for an apartment. On Thursday, I moved into the apartment. On Friday, I started work.

I went from unemployed to an Animal Care Specialist with an apartment that wasn't supposed to be available until mid-May, in just a matter of two weeks. Don't tell me that is not divine provision!

That was all exactly one month ago now. Things have been crazy busy with the adjustment, banking, car stuff, new schedules, 40+ hour work weeks, gradschool, feeding myself and Jade, unpacking, getting my little outdoor dog excercized enough for apartment life, making time for QT, and all that life throws at you during any big life transition. And as I said, honestly, I haven't had time to get excited about this new life....Until now!

I am still barely hanging on in Gradschool, and the apartment if still full of unpacked boxes, and work is crazy as ever while I get tangled in the "ropes" I am trying to learn.  But I had a little time this morning where I just surrendered the now. I prayed, "God, I don't know what you want me to do in this very moment, but work your great plan in me. Grow me in relationships here, and in my soul, and create in me what only you can."

Though nothing has changed, I feel a lightness...Like I don't have to just get-by anymore, but that I can start living here and now. And for the first time in a long time, I am excited about the upcoming season. Because I am open to it!

Anyway... I have taken a couple snapshots of the actual unpacked sections of my apartment.  More to come I am sure.

Not Ready to Go

Once again, I find myself in the position of leaving. And I feel that the more I do it, the harder it is. How many people can you love, and then say goodbye to before losing so many little pieces of your heart that you just can't anymore?

I knew it was a short term gig once again and I still chose to love. I still invested, and I wouldn't change it for the world. I have had mother's, sisters, crazy uncles, grandpas, and more! I have had so many people love me and become my family over this past year, and that is what makes it so sweet but so hard.

A.A. Milne wrote, "How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard". And it is beyond true for me. I had tears as I hugged my bluegrass band mama, my morning run sister, my pastor, and soon to be more! When asked if I am ready to leave, my "no" is only half due to the fact that I haven't packed a single box from my cabin...But more to the idea that my heart hurts. But...

How lucky I am to have all these people who make saying goodbye so hard.