Not Just Dust

It’s been a while since I blogged on here, but I did want a break from online sharing, so I guess I got it. But I have a couple things to share now.  The first is to say that I went on a trip to Vermont to an oil painting workshop with my current wet-on-wet idol, Wilson Bickford.  I have wanted to do this for years, and back in February, when I was struggling through Zambia.  I called mom for one of our skype dates, and she suggested that we take the trip when I returned home since there was a scheduled workshop in October.  And being in Africa, it never seemed like it would happen.  I mean, how could I justify the cost?  How could I even consider spoiling myself after seeing so much poverty?  How could I do anything back home when just living abroad was hard enough?  I couldn’t plan…I couldn’t hope.  But Mom did.  And I thank God.  Because, this past weekend was AMAZING.  I want to share more about that and photos soon.

The real reason I am writing however is because I received a letter today.  This letter was written by me back in April.  I was in Malaysia at the time and was probably in one of my darker points of the race.  But I was learning so much even in the pain.  And I wanted to share this letter.  The full disclosure is risky for me, because being open makes one vulnerable, but I think that I am not the only that can benefit from the words from that past struggle.

So here we go:

“Hello Caroline,

                Recently, things have been rough.  Rougher than Bolivia Caroline would ever know.  But death won’t be spoken over you and ‘Mara’ is not your name! 

YOUR BODY MAY BE DUST, BUT GOD BREATHED HIS SPIRIT IN YOU!  You are precious to Him and you can’t help but reflect Him.  It’s natural!  PEOPLE SEE GOD IN YOU MORE THAN YOU DO (BECAUSE YOU ARE YOUR OWN WORST CRITIC…ALWAYS HAVE BEEN… But ask anyone.  You are amazing.  And don’t waste your time on anyone who will tell you otherwise.)

AS YOU TOLD ***** [that was a private conversation], ‘Stay Strong & Stay You!’ AND PLEASE: Enjoy!  Life is too short to allow yourself to struggle with that. Release, Be, Enjoy, ______

WHO KNOWS WHAT THIS MONTH’S ROCK WILL SAY? [I collected rocks from each country and wrote a word that described my greatest lesson learned in that country.  My word for Malaysia ended up being “persevere”.]  You are His…and you look like your Father.”

Wow right!  I know this will help me out so much in the coming time and I hope that by being honest, I have helped someone else that needed to hear how awesome they are.

(Vermont Photos to Come Soon...)