Prospective

It's been a while... But I will probably be saying that often. Alas...here in O'ahu, I have had the opportunity to think.

I purposely came here knowing that seeing old team members in a new light would be beneficial to processing this past year of travel and trial. But honestly, my best processing moment came from an online conversation with a teammate that couldn't make it here.

When I first left the mission field, I was so ready to be done. I was exhausted, indignant, selfish, and hurt. Each emotion building on the next. Recently, I have been reading Danny Silk's, "Keep your love on" and its been a game changer.  Looking back, I was seeing all the ways I failed at communication, love, and selflessness.

However, after this conversation...I saw. That I did the best I possibly could at the time. No 20/20 hindsight, coulda, shoulda, woulda, is gonna change that. And the lessons I am still learning from the times when I wasn't even close to doing well, are priceless.

So, in a slight jump back Mrs. Frizzle in the magic school bus, its okay to "take chances, get messy, and make mistakes." Because coming out of this on the other side is probably the most difficult and rewarding thing I have ever done.

I am so grateful, honored, and blessed.

Malaysia

I was happy to fly again.  I had my fair share of buses lately and I was overjoyed for hot towels, food items, and plane movies.  And after an uneventful 8 hours to Dubai for our layover, I ended up buying a postcard for my brother, taking a picture of the tallest building in the world, and eating at McDonalds, all from the airport.  (Gross right!  I don't typically crave McDonalds...but I hadn't had it in 7 months, so there you have it.)

We took another 8 hours to get ourselves to Malaysia on another plane.  Landing in Kuala Lumpur at 11:00pm got us on a bus for the hostel for the night.  At 12:00am, one of our boys screamed, "There's a snake on the bus!" and pointed down as we all hopped on top our seats.  Once the screaming stopped, he yelled, "April Fool's"!

That was a good one... And as I finally placed my feet on the ground, I thought about April.  Wow!  We are in the Spring in America..and I left in the fall.  But those things mean nothing as I travel, other than marking the time I am gone.  And knowing that my family's lives have gone on another winter without me.

We stayed in a hostel with no windows and the comfiest beds and hot showers any poor African Missionary could ask for.  And I had the best night of sleep that I have had in months. (Plus there was Air-Conditioner which made  big difference too!)

Then a bus ride to Kuala Lipis where we are now staying at the Center we will teach in.  We sleep in the classrooms and will move our things out every time we teach.  But don't worry, we don't seem to have much teaching time.  So I am looking forward to seeing a little more of the country as we have a little more free-time this month.

I am happy to be back in Asia.  I missed this place.  But I am also struggling with some things and could use prayers.  I need God's strength because I often am just so tired and lonely that I want to give up.  But I can't quit...I won't quit.  But I can't do it on my own.  Please pray for a fresh wind, joy, and a better relationship with my team.