Collecting Wiregrass Seeds

A video blog from Today's Adventure in Manassas Bog.

 

 

Growing in Intimacy

I suppose sometimes growing feels a lot like failing.

I think in a lot of areas of life I find that I learn more from my errors than from the things I do right.  And in this case, I am learning to be in a relationship with God.

It is something that I did very well for quite some time.  I was great at just being in love with Him because honestly, I felt in love with Him.  Rough times happened, especially when mental health came on the line, I needed Him, I got mad at Him, but I always came back to Him.  It was a relationship.

These past few months, nothing as dramatic as anxiety attacks in a foreign nation has occurred.  But something perhaps even more deadly to faith.  And that is complacency.  I have found that I got to a place where I didn't feel the presence of God.  And I sought it...but couldn't find it.

Over a LONG time of introspection and asking wise people in my life...I think I figured out a few general points that I have been learning (not always living...but it's one step at a time).

• "God, doesn't move, you move"-FALSE.  God moves a lot...we just have to be sure we are going in the same direction as Him.  Sometimes like the young woman in Song of Solomon, God calls us to go with Him, and we just let Him move forward without us.
• But, when we are ready, and see our error, He will always come back to meet us where we are.
• Just because you don't feel the presence of God, doesn't mean you aren't in it.  And sometimes, God will withhold the feeling because we get addicted to that.  We want the power of the Spirit more than the Living God Himself...
• Seek and Ye Shall Find- TRUTH!  But be sure you are seeking God, not the experience, the giver of gifts, or the god we want Him to be.
• Be intentional.  Invite Him into the every day.  Be disciplined and yet, spontaneous, and have faith.

My current "Georgia momma" and mentor said it best when she said "Being intimate with Jesus I believe is like a marriage.  You may have days where you may not feel the intimacy but it is there. You know the song by Kari Jobe-The More I Seek You? You turn by seeking Him!  Throughout the day-pray without ceasing-give Him thanks and PRAISE at every turn.  Pray in the Holy Spirit!  Let Him speak to you through scriptures! LISTEN to His still small voice...dance with Him, lay your head on His lap..."

She basically said that the key to having a relationship with God is seeking a relationship with God.  Intentionally seeking it.  I have been busy...so very busy...with perhaps things that don't really matter.  But I somehow manage to fill the hours of the day and the space in my mind so well, that all I can do is shove God to a small corner of my heart that I access during my "quiet time" once a day.

What kind of relationship is that?  A marriage would never work if you said, "Honey, I give you from 7-7:30 each morning and the rest of the day is mine.  Oh, I will talk about you during the day, but we meet in the mornings"  It doesn't work that way.  To be truly in love with God is to invite Him into every aspect and moment.  And that takes time, mental space, planning, and intentionality.  It is exhausting...and I am failing at it. 

But I think that means I am growing.