Faithfulness

So...just a quick story.

On payday this week I did some math.  Paycheck - rent - gas money - insurance - tithe - savings - internet/phone = $4 Hmmm....I don't like that.  Then I thought about where I could skimp on spending, I didn't even plan to buy groceries out of this paycheck, so perhaps the savings.  Then, it was brought to my attention that perhaps I should skip paying tithe this check.  I mean, I am going into full-time missions in September, and I surely have given enough offerings in the past.  But...that didn't settle well with me.

I wanted to give God my first-fruits and not my dregs.  So as soon as I saw the automatic deposit go in my account, I sent in my tithe.  I didn't want to be tempted to spend it elsewhere.

This morning as I called the car repair place (not in the budget), I was discouraged.  I felt lack, but God was working behind the scenes.  I walked down to the post-office which seems to be the rainy day people collection center.  Half of my small country town was in that little double-wide trailer chitchatting and catching up.  One of the ladies that I love to talk with there greeted me and handed me something secretively.  She explained that she often gets these "epiphanies" and that last night when she laid down, she felt led to give this to me.  I slipped it into my pocket, thanked her and chatted about making chicken pie, and the weather, and the garden, then headed home.

When I got home, I pulled it out of my pocket, and it was basically the same amount of money I just sent in for tithe.  I was blown away, God provides, and I don't know why I still get surprised by it.  But, I wanted to share about his uncanny faithfulness!

The "Failed" Fast

Just to preface this post.  I don't really know what I am doing sometimes, nor do I know why things happen.  And its okay to not always have the answers.

So today was the 5th day of what I thought would be a 10 day fast.  I was attempting the Daniel fast with some members of my mission team.  In this fast you have vegetables and water just as Daniel did in first chapter of the book of Daniel.  He was in exile in Babylon and didn't want to eat of the king's food because the Babylonian meats were sacrificed to their idols. He was blessed to find that his provision came not from the King but from God.

But as of this morning I found myself weak, tired, and stressed out beyond belief.  I called my mother, because that is what I do when I am ready to admit that I don't have everything together.  And we both agreed that I should end my fast because it was hurting more than helping.

I wanted to continue fasting until the end of the 10 days though, and since I needed to get the focus off of me (of my weakness, my tiredness, my failure) I chose to complete the last 5 days by fasting music.  Now, I know that doesn't sound like a big sacrifice that will teach me faithfulness and humility and turn my eyes on Him while bringing His kingdom to earth. BUT, if you think about it.  I live alone and I fill the awkward silence with music at all times.  In the car it is always music that drowns out my thoughts and makes my spirit light.

So now, without that music drowning out my thoughts, how much better to hear that still, small, voice of the Lord?  How much better to process what has just happened with this "failed" first fast?

And to be honest, I don't see the fast as a failure.  I know that good will come of it (if it hasn't come already) and I know that I may never see it or know it.  You see, when something doesn't go the way I want it to, I analyze it until I see the reason.  Perhaps, I am not supposed to know the reason behind everything.  Perhaps as I sit in silence for the next five days, God will choose not to show me why things went the way they did. And perhaps, I will be okay with not having it all together all the time.

Whatever happens I just hold fast to God is good and He has the answers...and that is good enough for me.  :-)

Blog connection: The Sowed Seeds

Hiking Video

Just a Short Video about my Hiking with Steward Fluffel....

How to Garden when you Can't...

I could also call this blog post, "Gardening Saves your Sanity" because it does.  I would go crazy if I couldn't put my hands down into the cool soil and tend for something precious to grow.

I live in an apartment, so I realistically cannot garden.  Landlords don't tend to smile when they find that you have torn up the beautifully manicured lawn to plant "stuff in the dirt".  But as I said, I NEED THIS!

So I must thank my mother for being persistent about finding a community garden in the area.  I was able to secure a raised bed at the garden at the last minute for which I am thankful!  Also, we have a large section of potatoes that we planted as a community.  This part is beautiful because nothing builds bonds between strangers like back-breaking work.

Also, the garden offers classes.  In our last class, we were able to make bag gardens for our homes.  NOW this is something anyone can do, so I must share it.  You can do this even if you rent!  So without further ado:

HOW TO GARDEN WHEN YOU CAN'T:

The garden bag-

1. Purchase a bag of soil-less media, any type will do.
2. Place the bag where you will have your "garden".  
3. Poke holes in the bottom of the bag.
4. Then slice a large square out of the top of the bag.
5. In the now large patch of dirt, feel free to plant approximately 6 or 7 plants keeping them a hands width apart.
6. VOILA!  A GARDEN IN A BAG.  Repeat as desired to have all your delicious goodness at home!

My little Garden Bag

With my greens for salads.  Onion Bulbs in the bottom right.