Life

So...in life, the devil comes after you in many ways.  In the past, like all of us, I had some struggles.  I had anxiety attacks.  I found myself wounded to the point of hopelessness and anger towards God.  And like the AMAZING God He is, He healed me.

So, here in America, things are going back to normal (whatever that means).  And I was asked to prepare a testimony for church.  I did it a few weeks early and it was good.  As the time got nearer to me sharing, I found myself questioning my past events.  I thought to myself, "things couldn't have been THAT bad...you are blowing it out of proportion.  Surely you never really were depressed...."

I caught myself though and starting writing in my prayer Journal, "Daddy, sometimes my past year's struggle seems so far away.  Sometimes I can't even believe it happened.  BUT GOD!  My story is one of your saving grace...of your healing.  And Lord, let me never forget how low I was because it is proof of how high you raised me up."  I realized that if Satan could tell me that I didn't really struggle...then he could tell me that I wasn't really healed.

The second way that the devil tried to get me was soon to follow.  I started to think a lot about my friends and church family that are still in Korea.  I began to "innocently" wonder what I would be doing if I were still there this time of year.  I would be preparing for winter camp, I would be planning my holiday, and I would be growing like crazy with my family at church.  Then I started to long for this.  I wished I was still there and I began to be discontent where I was.  I needed to believe without a doubt that God has brought me where I am right now.  And that He has a plan for me.  But....I chose a different line of thought.

Later that night came the third wave of Satan's attack (this being the night before I was to give my testimony).  I was putting Wally the Boa back into his cage and my father gave me a kiss before he headed back to bed.  And then, I started to get the symptoms of one of my old panic attacks.  At that point I realized what all this had been.  It had been an attack from my enemy.  An attack that I just let happen...and didn't try to fight before.  BUT NOW I WAS READY TO FIGHT!

I needed some good out loud prayer..you know the kind where you yell at the devil with all the authority you get as a son of God.  Yeah...that kinda prayer!  So I took my dog with me...(cuz I wasn't going outside alone at midnight!) and went to the quietest darkest place I could find.  (That wimpy dog was a scaredy-cat and needed a lot of affirmation to get himself out there with me.  He kept looking longingly back at the warm house during this walk).  Once we were there, I sat down and did my thing.  It was only about five minutes worth of praying and there was this freedom.

Sometimes we think that we have to pray hours on end, or all night even, to solve the big problems.  But really...God doesn't want us to struggle with things that long.  He wants us to put the devil in his place quickly and get back to life.

Anyway...I just wanted to share this with you all.  If God has healed you of something and you find yourself in a struggle, don't feel that you failed.  Don't feel that you may have never have gotten healed in the first place.  Don't feel you are doing something wrong.  Take it as a sign that you are doing something right and that you got the devil a little nervous.

That's what I did.  I made him nervous because I was going to share the healing that God has done in my life.  And thanks to Him, I was able to share with confidence and assurance that He is good!  PRAISE HIM!

And that's life!