The Quest for Squeaky Cheese

This is the story of the quest for the mysterious squeaky cheese (aka. squeeky cheese...at least aka to me...)

A long time ago, when I was still a zoo-keeper here in the mountains of NC (which wasn't really a long time ago seeings how my last day was like 2 days ago), I was told of something called, "Ashe County Squeaky Cheese".  I was told over lunch one day that this said cheese would squeak as you chewed it.  What is this nonsense!?!?  Cheese that squeaks!

Ever since that moment, whenever a visitor came and asked, "what should we do?", I would throw out a few suggestions, "Linville Falls, Linville Caverns, Boone, a coffee shop in Spruce Pine, Hiking..." then I would throw out there hopefully, "Or we could find the mysterious Ashe county squeaky cheese."  Most people didn't go for that last option, and I thought I would never solve the mystery.

Towards my last day of work, I found in a littered magazine a coupon for Ashe County Cheeses.  "That's it!", I thought.  "If anyone has a clue to finding the mysterious squeaky cheese, they do!"

My mother came down from Ohio to get me all packed up and moved out of my apt.  I normally would have done it myself but without a car, the 10 hr drive home would have been even longer to walk especially with my futon.  :-P

The best part of mama's visit is that we gave ourselves one free day to enjoy.  And she agreed to spend it with me and my coupon in search of the mysterious Squeaky Cheese!  We headed to Ashe County which is full of lush green rolling hills and cattle only to find ourselves staring three giant metal cows in the face in front of a factory on Main Street.  They had a viewing room where we could watch the cheese being made and a short informational video.  BUT alas, no sign or mention of squeaky cheese. (they did mention a cheddar that was aged for 5 years though. Keep in mind that extra sharp cheddar only has to be aged for 15 months...so this stuff is SHARP!)

We made our way over to the store to use the coupon and found that they had free samples.  After some cheddar and bleu cheese I decided that perhaps I had my leg pulled. (Figuratively)  You see, most people in Avery County didn't know about the cheese and the person who told me about it knew that I was a foreigner/northerner.  It would be too easy to convince me of something as ridiculous as the cheese that squeaks when you eat it.  Perhaps I was duped, hoodwinked, or hornswoggled into believing them.

Mom opened a sample labeled "Cheese Curds" and offered me a toothpick full.  As I placed it in my mouth, mom got really excited.  "IT SQUEAKS!", she exclaimed.  And at that moment I bit down to the loudest squeak session since the middle school gym full of sneakers.  WE FOUND IT!  The mysterious Ashe County Squeaky Cheese wasn't a cheese at all!  It was cheese curds!  Who would have known?  I helped myself to much more of them and allowed the chorus of squeaks to fill my head like an angelic choir.

We later ate at a place called Black Jack Bar and Restaurant because it claimed to have the best burgers in town, which it did.  And we then tried out that 5 yr old cheddar mama bought.  I swear I tasted it before my tongue hit it.  It was like the air around it was already flavored.  And I will leave you with a quote from Mama about that one, "Its so sharp I need to swallow band-aids for my stomach!" BWA HA HA!