Prospective

It's been a while... But I will probably be saying that often. Alas...here in O'ahu, I have had the opportunity to think.

I purposely came here knowing that seeing old team members in a new light would be beneficial to processing this past year of travel and trial. But honestly, my best processing moment came from an online conversation with a teammate that couldn't make it here.

When I first left the mission field, I was so ready to be done. I was exhausted, indignant, selfish, and hurt. Each emotion building on the next. Recently, I have been reading Danny Silk's, "Keep your love on" and its been a game changer.  Looking back, I was seeing all the ways I failed at communication, love, and selflessness.

However, after this conversation...I saw. That I did the best I possibly could at the time. No 20/20 hindsight, coulda, shoulda, woulda, is gonna change that. And the lessons I am still learning from the times when I wasn't even close to doing well, are priceless.

So, in a slight jump back Mrs. Frizzle in the magic school bus, its okay to "take chances, get messy, and make mistakes." Because coming out of this on the other side is probably the most difficult and rewarding thing I have ever done.

I am so grateful, honored, and blessed.