February Already

I changed my little dry-erase calender over to February and found myself not believing how fast time has gone by.  I mean, it's been three months since I moved back to America. And it's hard because I still find myself so wrapped up in Korea.  I guess I just find myself lost at times here...and people try to be sympathetic but they really don't understand.  They have never made a home abroad and then left it.

Anyway, the church search continues.  I don't want to be discouraged but I am fighting this feeling that I will never find the church I need.  I need people who are REAL, with real struggles and testimonies so that they know the true meaning of grace and victory.  I don't want a place full of people who sing about victory but they don't really know it.  I want people who know that there is true POWER in Christ.  I want a church that challenges me daily...not just feeding people baby-food generic sermons.  I want a place with a small congregation that knows me...not just the "I will shake your hand every Sunday but I don't really care about your life..." sort of folk.

I want to be part of true fellowship, people being part of other's daily lives.  And I want a church that doesn't grow in numbers for numbers sake.  I want a church where members don't just receive ..but instead are expected to become active leaders.  This is a place that multiplies, sending folks to new places to start new churches instead of being comfy in the pew.   I need a church where people don't plan their church around their lives but instead, their lives around the church.

Some people may say, "Good luck with that....'cuz it doesn't exist..".  But I know that is wrong, because I already found it in Korea.

But then, there is this fear, that God gave me a church with certain dynamics for a certain time.  And there is a different type of church in my future.  In that case, I don't even know what to look for...

Please pray for me as the search continues.....